


If I Were A Suli Seer

by Bienmoreau (OhMercutio)



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: (its a reincarnation au guys.. they gotta die at least once.. but it is only the once), Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Canon Compliant ish, Character Death, F/F, Reincarnation, but only for book one. i started this before ck was out..., new ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-14 20:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11215569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMercutio/pseuds/Bienmoreau
Summary: Inej was not a seer, but she remembers the one true seer that had traveled with them when she was a child. She remembers the sound of the young woman’s bells and beads and bracelets when she moved. She remembers the smell of the tent, the incense that clung to orange silks. The shine of her dark hair in all its twists and braids, falling in contrast to the ruby and blood reds of her beautiful jackal mask. She remembers the lilt her voice had when she spoke of fortunes and prophecies. The safety Inej always felt when she would sit with her at the fire, playing with Inej’s hair and whispering of all the things she will do.Inej Ghafa remembers a lot more than that, a lot more than most.





	1. Prologue- All the World for you.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilaliacs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilaliacs/gifts).



> ninej reincarnation fic for my wonderful friend Kaya.. i might be a year and two days late but happy belated birthday my dear and hopefully posting this will motivate me to write more...

“If I were a Suli seer, oh the things I would know”

Inej was not a seer, but she remembers the one true seer that had traveled with them when she was a child. She remembers the sound of the young woman’s bells and beads and bracelets when she moved. She remembers the smell of the tent, the incense that clung to orange silks. The shine of her dark hair in all its twists and braids, falling in contrast to the ruby and blood reds of her beautiful jackal mask. She remembers the lilt her voice had when she spoke of fortunes and prophecies. The safety Inej always felt when she would sit with her at the fire, playing with Inej’s hair and whispering of all the things she will do. 

Inej Ghafa remembers a lot more than that, a lot more than most.

* * *

 

“If I were a Suli seer, oh the things I could tell you”

“But you  _ are  _ a seer” 6 year old Inej would complain, but she would never concede and tell Inej her future. She would simply smile knowingly, cup Inej’s cheek and promise ‘G _ reat things child, the world. All the worlds for you. In time. _ ’ As Inej grew she learnt the rarity of the seer’s gift and schooled her childhood longing for easy prophesy.

Inej Ghafa was raised on stories; of arrows and aim and true love, but also of saints and seers and martyrs. She knew that fate had a plan for them all and she resigned herself to allowing that plan play out.

But she never forgot the promise she had been given, not after her seer friend left their troupe, not after she was taken, enslaved, prostituted, saved and oh so nearly, set free.

‘ _ All the world for you. In time.’ _

And Inej vowed to have it.

 

She had been the first of the Dregs to meet Nina, her job to convince the Corporalnik to join them, to sign a deal with Kaz, to be saved by him just as Inej herself had been. There was no freedom in the Barrel but there were friends, and even a sense of a makeshift family when they were all together.

Her father had told her stories about love, many and varied but always about her mother in the end. His favourite story to tell had been about flowers, about Inej someday finding a boy who knew her favourite type of flower, favourite of everything. For that first year after leaving the Menagerie Inej wasn’t sure she had a heart to give to anyone at all. After time she caught herself wandering, even hoping, that maybe that boy would be Kaz. But no, Kaz wasn’t that boy for anyone and while Kaz did know her better than nearly anyone he didn’t know her as no one else did.

The person who had taken the time to truly know her was Nina. In the long slow nights when there was no job to do and the rain made traversing the roofs of Ketterdam a dangerous pass time, Inej invariably found herself curled up in Nina’s room, talking, laughing, eating the sweets and cakes Nina always had on hand, telling stories as Nina ran her hands through Inej’s hair complimenting her on her ‘perfect’ dark caramel completion. With only a few months between them in age, their memories of Ravka held so many similarities and yet so many nuances and differences due to circumstance that they never managed to run out of things to discuss. That was before they even touched on their lives now. 

Nina had speculated about Kaz’s feelings for Inej on a number of occasions but every time Inej foiled her theories about him and instead turned to questions about Matthias. That was how they were, it had been so long since Inej had felt at home in a person’s company. So long since she felt close to how she had sitting around the fire, he mother cooking dinner and her father telling stories, so long. But that was how she felt with Nina.

When Kaz got the job from Van Eck, the heist, the last mission, Inej wondered if at last fate was bringing her closer to her dream. When they got Matthias out of jail she was prepared to lose Nina to him, she was used to people coming and going, she wasn’t alone anymore. But that wasn’t what happened, Nina remained hers, became so in fact with a new intensity that Inej could not deny she reveled in. 

There was a debt to be paid, apologies to be made and closure to be found between Nina and Matthias. 

But Nina still gravitated to her and Inej found herself thinking perhaps it didn’t have to be boys bringing flowers to them for it to be true love. 

Not if they were your favourite flowers, not if they from your favourite person. 

Inej had learnt what Nina’s favourite flower was a month after meeting her. 

 

As a child Inej had always known what she wanted, what would make her happy- sticking her landing on a jump, being praised by her father, sweet cakes and spiced tea, being free. Then she became a member of the Dregs and surviving became all that mattered.

But now her thoughts were on the future again, on finishing this job and getting on a ship and sailing away, but first home, home to Ravka. Back to their home and  _ then _ the world, all of it, with Nina at her side.

 

Of course fate is not always kind, and her Suli saints can only do so much.

 

Waking up on the Ferolind to the memory of Oomen’s knife driving home and Nina startling awake at her side knocked the breath from her lungs, not only from the pain as she tried to move but the immense relief she felt at Nina presence beside her. The grisha’s tears were less pleasing but they didn’t last long before they were both laughing. Inej would never tire of hearing Nina’s laugh, her comforting voice never growing old, they talked into the tense relief that came with barely scraped life. They talked until the mood dropped too low and Nina conceded to singing drinking songs in her horrible out of tune wonderful way.  _ Stay in this Inej  _ she told herself,  _ stay here, this moment. Nina, Nina. Nina.  _

Nina was singing about a sailor who abandoned his sweet heart, her hand had found Inej’s at some point and she squeezed.  _ I will not abandon her  _ she thought fierce in her conviction as she had taught herself to be.

“Teach me the chorus,”  _ so I may learn his folly and never make the same mistake. _

Nina did, because of course she would, anything for Inej, and they sang until the lanterns faded.

Inej felt herself slipping into sleep and whispered her thanks as Nina’s grip loosened on her hand.

“Only for you, Wraith. Always for you, Inej.” Nina’s lips on her forehead the last reassurance Inej needed.

It was strange, Inej mused, to be traveling with the group they were, Matthias’ gruff and unforgiving attitude was often directed negatively towards Nina but he did genuinely care for her. He would argue against her character but would eventually agree with most of Inej’s praises of her. They had been through something Inej would never understand but it helped that he didn’t begrudge Nina the life she had now, not really. The occasional moments of tension between them didn’t worry her, she trusted Nina above anyone other than herself and knew that trust was reciprocated.

Of course trusting someone, believing in someone or something didn’t always mean you got what you expected or wanted.

When Kaz’s nicely built plan capsized and they were suddenly thrown into the dangerous situation of thinking on their feet in order to simply get out alive let alone succeed.

The very prospect of putting on Tante Heleen’s silks again made her gut churn and the peacock feather newly tailored onto her arm made her skin crawl.  _ Warpaint  _ she reminded herself as Nina gripped her hand, meeting her eyes and promising to remove it the second they were back on the Ferolind. Inej prided herself on her conviction, her dedication to the task at hand and her faith the her saints and fate would lead her right in the end. But standing at the edge of the dome waiting for the Menagerie girls to enter she thanked every saint she knew that Nina was at her side, was going into this with her.

In the moment of reprieve from their mission standing in the antechamber in the silks that she despised Inej couldn’t help herself from taking a moment to appreciate Nina’s new look- before she donned her ridiculous red maned cloak. She stood there in front of Inej, all ample curves and confidence and easy humour even at a time like this.  _ Sankts she made Inej feel safe. Maybe they really could pull this off. _

But of course once again fate had other ideas.  __

“If I was a Suli seer,” Inej would not cry. She would not allow herself to cry. Crying had never helped her and it was not going to help Nina now. She would. Not. Cry.

“If I was a Suli seer, I could look into the future and tell you it will be alright.” Inej didn’t know how to believe herself, was this really what fate had for them? What happened to her promise ‘great things’? of ‘all the world’? Nina might be dying within the hour and there was NOTHING Inej could do.

“Or that I’m going to die in agony.” Nina sounded tired despite the power still thrumming through her. She held Inej close, kissing her hair and pressing her cheek to the top her head.

She asked for Inej to tell her good things anyway and Inej hated the lack of belief she felt deep in herself. Nina laughed, she joked about the future and Inej was reminded of Matthias’ comment about her being foolish ‘Every last thing needn’t be a joke.” but this show relentless optimism was one of the things she loved about Nina, she was always so strong in the face of unimaginable hardship, always found something to make joke about. How could being a beacon of positivity be a bad thing?

“Ready?” Nina asked and Inej let out a sigh of relief, this at least was easy to think about she thought as she pushed her sleeve up so Nina could remove the feather marring her skin.

 

They had already agreed that it would be best for Inej not to be there for her withdrawal, it would only make it harder for them both to bare, but as Nina pressed a kiss just shy of Inej’s mouth and got up to fine Matthias it felt like a part of Inej was leaving with her.

_ Only one woman loves Dahlia flowers, particularly rich pink ones. And that woman has my heart, papa. _

__

While Inej was standing on the slice of land that was Vellgeluk watching Kaz’s exchange with Van Eck sour by the minute.  
  


Nina is screaming, the slab of wood below her feeling like it’s tearing into her flesh at the slightest movement but unable to stop the convulsions spasming through her body.  
  


While Inej listens in horror at Van Eck’s plan, his admission to duping them, his hatred of his son, of Wylan.  
  


Nina’s tears sting her pours, her tear ducts feel ripped open, her teeth like knives splintering her lips and gums. She can’t see past the red blinding pain, can’t speak her mouth forced open by her screams.  
  


They watch the ship being smashed to pieces, Kaz’s calm response, Jesper’s cries of outrage and then relief flooded shock. Van Ecks calm, vicious rage. This did not look good,  _ what happened to ‘all the world’  _ she thought viciously.  
  


Nina can _feel_ the blood in here veins, can hear her hair and nails growing, she can feel her heart beat like lava smashing against every nerve in her body. Faster, faster, faster. Too fast. Too much. Too loud. Too much. Too fast-    
  


“GET THE GIRL!” 

Inej, quick, clever Inej who had survived so long on her own skill, was not fast enough. The Tidemakers swarmed her. But she was the Wraith, blood covered her hands and arms and face and the sand.  _ If I was a Suli seer I would have seen this coming. _ Jesper shot one Squaller out of the air but another grabbed her and swept up into the air. Kaz had his gun out, he had been running to her, he was trying to save her again,  _ a good investment.  _ She span, knives flashing and then she was falling. Kaz’s voice flashes through her mind ‘ _ The trick is not to fall’  _ she would have laughed had she had the time. But another Squaller was on her, smashing into her sudden and all-consuming-  
  
  


Too much. Too loud. Too much and too painful and Nina screamed. Feeling her own throat rip itself open with it, real blood added to the overwhelming taste of blood that had been the only thing she knew for how long now? Too much. Too fast. Too much. All-consuming. Too fast-  
  


\- And then nothing.

 

|

_ All the worlds for you. _

_ In time. _

_ \ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. i felt mean writing it too. but NOW WE GET TO HAVE THE NEXT LIFE!!  
> which.. i have maybe a chapter and a half written of.. but I'm going away for a week now so I'll try and get some more written with away so that i can get the next bit up soon and then will have an idea of how much more I have to write.
> 
> so yea... sorry for the delay but hope it'll be worth it.


	2. In Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New life, New times. Old memories of new friends.

Inej Ghafa swung herself up onto the roof and paused for a moment to take in the view, the streets of Ketterdam sprawled out below her as she took in a deep breath of morning air. Even in the mornings the city felt charged, like there was something waiting to happen all the time, Inej chalked it up to the amount of strange people it was home to.

Down on the corner she could see Jesper’s dark back as he set up his market stall, always the first one at the farmers market on Saturdays and he assured her it had nothing to do with a boy with ruddy blonde curls who always worked at the Bram’s workshop on Saturday’s, no sir, nothing at all, it was complete coincidence that this meant he was also always there to help (watch) Jesper unload the vegetables and flowers from his truck- shirtless. ‘It’s the summer, Inej, it’s hot!’

Inej grinned as she danced over the roof and dropped gracefully down next to the rolled awning,  
-  
Inej Ghafa could fly. No, not quite - she didn’t have wings (though wouldn’t that be cool!) Inej just knew how to fall so that it seemed like soaring. That’s what she got for growing surrounded by acrobats. Her family were technically a traveling troupe but just under two years ago a couple of her aunts had decided that the city would make a good place to set up base for their psychic trade. Inej hadn’t minded too much; she missed the open road occasionally but the city was so big it was hard to get bored, and it was nice to be able to make friends that she knew she wouldn’t be moving away from within the month. Her parents had grumbled at first but not even having to stand still for a while could dampen her father’s optimism.

“Ketterdam,” he had told her grinning at her across the table “is the kind of city where anything could happen.”

“And where you could meet anyone,” one of her aunts added lightly swirling a spoon in her cup of coffee.

Inej would roll her eyes but smile. Her aunts had had a tendency to talking about her meeting someone since she’d turned 14 and it used to always come with the same old line: ‘If I was a Suli seer, oh the things I could tell you.’ She’d gotten bored of that joke when she was 8.

Inej was not a seer, neither were her parents, but she never once questioned that her aunts had the gift. It was in their blood. Generations of Suli men and women had the gift, and it was just a part of her life. Her logical reality had room for physics and chemistry,engineering and technology, but it also, always, had room for psychics and seers and gifts. Ketterdam was a melting pot, full of people from all walks of life; from seers and healers to inventors and thieves, it was a place where, as her family said, you could meet anyone and anything could happen. Inej couldn’t deny that she had grown fond of its rooftops.

\------------

“Morning, Jesper,” she called, striding over to him as he straightened and stretched his back out. “Your little friend’s not here yet? How unusual.” She smirked at his affronted expression, but she knew he didn’t really mind her teasing.

“Mornin’. I’ve got those cuttings for you,” he said without any preamble as he crossed over to the back of his truck and pulled out a pallet of flowers, a mess of green stems and leaves and the occasional pale flower head. “Wild geraniums right from my own yard. Why did you want them again?”

“They’re for my father,” she told him taking the pallet in both hands and smiling at the fragrance. “Well, they’re for my mother. But for my father to give to her. For our garden. They’re her favourite.” She looked back up at him and asked “How much do I owe you?”

“Take ‘em for free,” he huffed lightly “they’re basically weeds anyway.”

Inej’s smile brightened at that “Oh, really!? Now that doesn’t sound like the Jesper I know. Any reason you’re being generous today?”

If Jesper was trying not to blush he was failing, he rubbed the back of his head with one gloved hand and grinned sheepishly at her. “Just trying to prove a point to someone,” he mumbled.

She turned to look where Jesper was decidedly not looking and found the tousled curls of Wylan’s head. He seemed completely lost in whatever he was doing and was so still and focused Inej hadn’t even noticed him there. She raised her eyebrows at her friend and smirked. “Well then, I’ll leave you to it.”

Inej knew she probably could make it back across the roofs with the pallet but she decided not to risk it. She liked walking through the city at times like this. When it was still waking up and the air still felt fresh it reminded her or early set ups or pack downs when on the road. When the only people up were those with a job to do and that was all they focused on, she was able to walk around and take it all in, lending a hand here or there but mostly just existing in the moment. It was mornings like this when she allowed herself to get lost in her dreams about seeing the world. She’d been a lot of places, but only around her home country until they’d moved here. She wanted to go out and see the world on her own terms.

When she was a child she used to ask her aunts what her future looked like, but they would always tut and tell her the fate had a plan for them all and the saints would look after her. She used to pout and complain that since they were Suli seers they should tell her what they knew, but they never did, and the only time any of them had got close it have been her cousin who had simply told her ‘Great things, the world.’ And even as she heard the words it had felt like she had heard them before.

She had that feeling a lot in this city. She’d had it when she met Jesper for the first time; like she just knew that they would be friends, like they already were friends. She felt it with Wylan too, less apparent but a similar ache of familiarity.

When she got home her parents were already at the studio warming up for a day of training Ketterdam’s young and acrobatic, so Inej dumped the geraniums on the back step and splashed some water over them before turning back to the wall.

She wasn’t sure where she was headed today; maybe over to the markets again, she could happily spend the day chatting to Jesper but she didn’t want to get in the way of him and Wylan getting to know each other. She could go sit on top of the old library and feed the crows, but no. She felt restless, uneasy, like something was meant to be happening and it wasn’t. For once she was annoyed not to have a list of errands set out by her family, it was a novel experience and one she wasn’t quite sure how to react to.

She contemplated trying to break into the university again but decides against it when she remembered the security would be tight at the weekend without students coming and going. As she pulled herself up onto the low roof at the far end of the wall, she started humming. The tune was an old drinking song that her father sang; something about the traveler abandoning his love, but the version she caught herself singing sometimes was different. Her version is about a sailor and she has the ghost of a memory of someone else singing it.

Inej Ghafa remembers a lot of things,things she’s not sure she should be able to remember. She remembers orange and red silks and the sound of bells not dissimilar to the ones that her aunts wear, but these ones are different older in a way that she can’t quite describe. She remembers the smell of a city that she doesn’t think she’s ever been to and she’s always had an innate hatred of peacocks and their feathers and she has no idea why.

Without meaning to her feet brought her to a block of offices. They were easy to climb and had a long running space along the top. There were flat roofs all over the city and Inej relished in the freedom they gave her. Inej had taught herself a long time ago how to be silent, now in the city with the hustle and bustle she didn’t have to worry so much but she liked to practice creeping along the window ledges of the offices as a challenge. It was a test of her skill and one that she turned to when she had nothing else to do.

Today, though, something was different. That was becoming something of a theme, she mused. When she reached the corner of the building where the small ledge ended, she paused. There was someone there, she could hear them breathing but couldn’t see them yet. Carefully she pulled herself up onto the ledge above -buildings like this with ledges running around the sides were her favourite, and certainly a security hazard, but Inej wasn’t going to tell anyone that. She edged around the corner and looked down at a man in black suit. He had a cane propped up against the wall next to him and Inej wondered why he’d bothered climbing up so many stories if he had a bad leg. He wasn’t old, maybe a few years older than her,but he looked so professional it threw her. She wondered what he was doing here and as she studied his face she got a wave of that feeling again. That strange, slightly disjointed familiarity that she felt sometimes for people she was sure she did not know. Dropping down down silently behind him, Inej crept closer until she was close enough that she could measure exactly how much taller he was then her how, much wider. She could see the stitchwork in the collar of his suit under the tips of his black hair, the details of the buttons on his sleeve neatly fitted around black gloves-

He turned, and to his credit contained his surprise really rather well, only taking a slight stumbling step back as he held himself slightly straighter, highlighting the few inches he had on her. Inej was not exactly tall and neither was this boy - and he was a boy, she could see that now that she was right in front of him, but he seemed tall simply in the way he held himself, taller and older than he truly was. Familiar. Known. She didn’t understand it.

“Do I know you?” The question was out before Inej had time to process how absurd it was but the boy didn’t seem to be fazed,

“Unlikely but possible, I suppose, I certainly don’t know you. The name’s Brekker--” he held his hand out, “and you are?”

Inej only paused for a moment before taking his hand, squaring her shoulders, “Inej.” He smiled a little at before releasing her hand.

“What are you doing up here?” she asked, not meaning to sound accusatory but still feeling a little put out that her route had been interrupted.

He almost laughed at that and Inej felt another wave of...nostalgia? at the sound.“I rather think that should be my question, don’t you? At least I had the decency to use the stairs.” Inej crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at the challenge in his tone and was about to start defending herself but he continued. “Though I have to admit I am rather impressed. Would you be interested in a job?”

“Well, that’s forward of you” Inej said, half laughing in disbelief to which Brekker only shrugged, “and what might this job entail? Nothing criminal, I hope.”

Now he really did smile. “Barely, I’m an information broker, and skills like yours would certainly come in handy. I can pay you.”

He waited while Inej considered the offer, running through the many issues it may present but damn it if Inej didn’t feel in her gut that she should take him up on the offer.Her aunts often told her that her Suli blood would lead her true, that her gut, her instincts should be trusted - so far in Inej’s experience following their advice had worked out well.

“Shouldn’t I know your first name if I’m going to be working with you?”

A crooked smile pulled at his lips again “Kaz. Is Inej your real name?”

“Yes. Is Kaz Brekker yours?”

“Close enough.” Why did this feel like déjà vu, like standing in a hall of mirrors at a fair and seeing the same thing happening over and over but slightly different, distorted each time but essentially the same? Kaz held out a small black business card. “Come to this address tonight at seven and I’ll have a job for you.”

“Sure,” she said meeting his eyes. He nodded, picked up his walking stick and turned towards the balcony door looking back in invitations and Inej smirked. “No way, have fun with all those stairs.”

She pulled herself back up onto the ledge she’d dropped from. With a last sharp smile and a “See you later,” she was slipping back around the corner and out of sight.

\-----------

The knife flashed in the dim light of the alleyway and Inej only just managed to jump back in time pulling on of her own knife from her hip. This one had been a gift from Kaz after her first successful job and it was beautiful. She dropped into a defensive stance, half an eye scanning the surrounding walls for an escape. _Stupid!_ she cursed herself, she should have known better, this end of town wasn’t Dregs turf and she knew it. Kaz had warned her. But he had also said that the person with the only lead on their current job was set up here in one of the healers shops and Inej had always been one to surpass expectations.

A vicious snarl was the only warning she got before the man in front of her barreled into her. This time she didn’t try to dodge, instead she waited for him to be nearly on top of her before using his shoulders to flip herself up and over, feet landing squarely on his back as he kept moving forward. He was unable to stop in time and Inej used his own momentum to add power to her kick as she pushed off him again, sending him sprawling headfirst into the wall. She landed on the cobbles neatly and was about to make her run for the low porch at the entrance of the alley when three more man came charging round the corner. Swearing, Inej slipped a second knife from her boot and readied herself for the fight.

Since she signed up with Kaz and his strange little band of followers, she’d had her fair share of fighting and had been training, but she still shouldn’t have risked coming out her alone. It was reckless and very unlike her but she’d been getting increasingly restless and was sick of spending her free time in her house with her aunts and their clients and the feeling that something was meant to be happening!

If I was a Suli seer I would have seen this coming! she thought bitterly as the largest of the men landed a heavy blow across her shoulder blades with a thick iron pipe. She spun and slashed out at his chest but a tight fist caught her wrist and twisted it sharply, forcing her to drop her knife. Inej gritted her teeth, wincing at the jarring pain but refusing to call out. She flipped the knife in her free hand around and trust backwards hearing a satisfying shout of pain before the heat of the man’s blood pooled around her fist. Two down, but it still wasn’t looking good; the man with the pipe now had a fistful of her fair, at the base of her neck where it was pulled back into a tight plait. He pulled her face close to his and snarled something in her ear but Inej was too busy angling body the right way so that as soon as he leaned down enough she was able to flip over using the man’s shoulder as a support. It hurt like hell as she twisted her arm free but luckily the sudden movement cause the grip on her wrists to loosen. Pipe-man still had his fist in her hair and so was pulled around with her, causing them both to stumble but as he crashed into her, driving them both up against the wall she flicked her third knife free and drove it into his side.

Inej was not a fan of blood and she made a conscious effort not to kill any of her many assailants -she had no interest in going home to her family a murderer at the end of any job. Of course getting to go home at all did take precedence in these situations. The wall was closer than she had hoped and the slamming of brick against the back of her head jolted the world out of focus for a moment, ears ringing and skull throbbing she staggered back to her feet. The clicking of the gun was a terrifyingly clear sound through the haze of her battered senses and she only had a second to get her body to move. Luckily, a moment was all she needed, diving to the side as the first shot rang out, smashing against the wall where she had been a heartbeat before. The doorway light was flickering as she tried to focus her blurry vision on the ledge, she was pretty sure she could make the jump if she kicked off the wall and then it was just a case of scaling the drain and she would be clear--

A shot ricocheted off the floor as her foot met the brick and her fingers caught the edge of the rough stone. She pulled up as a blinding white searing pain at her side forced all the air out of her lungs and her visions suddenly blurred into back at the edges. She hoisted herself up the rest of the way, trying not to scream. She propped herself against the wall and managed to pull herself to her feet, _faster Inej you have to get out of here!_ She managed to find the drainpipe under her hand, bracing for the climb and heaved, feet slipping at first and her knuckles scraping the bricks. But she was up and as soon as she was up she was fast. Climbing straight up as fast as possible was her favourite test as a child and with the adrenaline coursing through her, she was fast.

As she reached the edge of the roof a final shot split the air and the man below her bellowed out threats. She rolled onto the slates and gasped for air - her side was screaming pain and when she gingerly touched her fingers to it they came back warm and slick with blood. _Shit_ she cursed again, low and exhausted. She lay there panting for breath, her whole body throbbing for a minute. She needed to get out of here, she needed to get home, but she couldn’t go home like this, not least because she was fairly certain she would never make it all the way back across town. She could go back to Kaz, but she wasn’t really up for facing a lecture right now and she wasn’t even sure if he would be in, but she had to try, it was the only place she could go in this state.

Eventually, she managed to roll over and crawl to her feet, nearly throwing up at the rush of dizziness her efforts rewarded her. As she staggered over the slanted roof, her vision began to waver again and she thanked all her saints when she saw that the roof next to this one was flat. The small jump it took to cross them took nearly everything she had in her and she crashed to her knees on the landing, not even registering the ripping of her trousers and the skin of her knees. By the time her hands found the top of the fire escape at the other end of the roof her fingers where numb and she was leaving a trail of dripping blood. One flight down her limbs were sluggish, she was weaving and stumbling and she wasn’t sure if her head was spinning like mad or if she really was just swaying that much, needless to say she wasn’t going to make it far. At the second platform she lent against the rail for a long moment, staring down into the darkness. She must be six stories up and the thought of that nearly made her whimper, she was never going to make it. She would either die or pass out before she even got out of this part of town, she wouldn’t ever make it home. _What happened to ‘all the world’?_ she thought, clenching her teeth again, this time to stop from crying. Pulling in a tight breath that made every part of her battered and broken body cry out in protest, Inej turned to the next flight, steadied herself to keep going and stepped forward into black.

\----------

The world was falling away from under her, she thought she ought to open her eyes and ready herself to land but her eyelids were so heavy, all of her was so heavy, too heavy she was plummeting and she couldn’t stop and she didn’t think that even she could survive a fall from this height.

_The trick is not to fall..._

\----------

The voice in Inej’s head was distant, it sounded like Kaz but she’d never had a conversation with him about falling, not after she found out that’s how he hurt his leg. But is sounded like him. Slowly the darkness came into some sort of focus, there was a faint light off to the right and the red glow indicated that she wasn’t in darkness, her eyes were just closed. After that her awareness came back in pieces, disjointed and vague at first but the pain quickly became clear, it was all-encompassing and a little overwhelming but also strangely fuzzy. Not nearly as intense as it should have been, Inej realised as her memories of the night floated up to the front of her mind one at a time. She must have passed out on the fire escape, someone must have found her because she most definitely wasn’t lying on cold metal grating anymore.

She let out a low groan and screwed her face up at the wave of pain full consciousness brought with it and there was a startled movement off to her left as someone presumably jerked awake.

“I’m up! I’m here!” the girl’s voice was a little shaky but she didn’t sound hostile, just a little worried. “How are you feeling?”

There was more movement and then a soft cool hand was pressed to Inej’s forehead. Her furrowed brow relaxed at the touch and she mentally readied herself to open her eyes. Her eyelids fluttered slightly, they were so heavy still and everything ached so much.

Inej let out another long moan and squinted up at the ceiling. Drapes of fabric hung around the light fixture and pulled out to the walls, and there were incense burners and lanterns strung up along with the main bulb in a strange approximation of the interior of a tent. Taking a deep breath, Inej tried to push herself up so she could look around.

“Hey now don’t push yourself, I did the best I could but I’m still in training. You’re not ready to be moving around.”

Inej slumped back and rolled her head to the side, finally getting a look at the girl next to her.

“Hi, I’m Nina, I’m so glad you woke up! I was scared for a while there! You were a mess, what happened?” the girl babbled at her, clearly relieved.

Inej opened her mouth to reply only to gag on the bitter sandpaper feel of her tongue “Water?” she rasped and Nina visibly started,

“Oh Saints yes! Of course!” Jumping up, she busied herself with a jug and glass on the counter at the side of the room before bustling back over and helping prop Inej up enough to take a sip. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to tell me what happened but you should let me see to your injuries again before you try to go anywhere. I did at least stop the bleeding last night but it wasn’t my best work. I was more than a little shocked when I found you and I’m not very good at working when panicked--”

“Working?” Inej asked softly after swallowing another sip of the water.

“Oh right, I’m a healer. Well a healer’s apprentice. I’m still in training but I’m the best student in the house.” She was babbling again and Inej couldn’t help the small huff of laughter despite it making her wince again. “I hope it’s okay that I worked on you - I know some people get funny about what we do here but, well, you were bleeding all over my fire escape.” That really did make Inej smile and she nodded gently sipping some more of the water before she attempted talking again.

“It’s fine, thank you. You probably saved my life. umm, I’m Inej.” She held a hand out slightly towards Nina who promptly grasped it in both her own hands and beamed at her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Umm I really should work on you some more now that you’re awake, if that’s okay?” Inej nodded again and handed her the glass, sliding carefully back down onto the bed and closing her eyes.

Nina bustled around the bed for a minute before settling again this time with her hands on Inej’s abdomen. Inej knew about healers, they were found the world over and went by various names, most commonly called ‘Bloodworkers’ or ‘Fixers’ these days but her aunts still referred to them as ‘Corporalki’. One of the main things that had drawn them to Ketterdam was the concentration of healers here, the people’s openness to the gifted.

That said, the experience of being healed was completely unique to Inej. It started out as a light tingling across the skin of her stomach but quickly intensified to an acute itch and then, as it worked its way down through her flesh and bone, it became a sensation not unlike bad pins-and-needles, spreading out over her hips and up her sides. It was not, Inej decided, a feeling she enjoyed but as Nina removed her hands and the prickling faded slightly, Inej was immensely relieved to find that the majority of the pain from the bullet wound left with it. She actually gasped at the sudden ability to breathe deeply again and for a moment Nina looked worried, tensing and snapping her hands away.

“It’s fine, I’m fine, thank you. It helped.” Inej offered Nina weak smile

At that, Nina let out a relieved sigh. “I’m going to need to roll you over so I can get to your back, do you think you can do it yourself?” Her voice was so soft and Inej couldn’t help thinking it sounded familiar, felt familiar, that same pang of knowing that she got with other people in this place--

She nodded slightly, taking a moment to steady herself before slowly turning her body over. The bruising all along the back of the shoulder blades and her neck ached like hell and as she moved, she gritted her teeth against the sting. Once she was situated again, Nina placed her cool palms against Inej’s shoulder blades. Smoothing them over her skin gently before that same prickling pins and needles sensation spread across her back and up into her scalp. This time Inej was ready for it and let her body relax into the alien feeling..

It took a brief moment compared to the bullet and before Nina was pulling her hands away. She moved Inej’s straight black hair back and brushed the loose strands away from her cheek then got her feet.

“I’m going to have to go -- I’ve got training today -- but you shouldn’t move anywhere. You have to stay...” she trailed off. Inej had rolled onto her back again was looking at her but as Nina said that she had to stay Inej’s mind whirred. She couldn’t stay ,she had to get home, had to find Kaz and her family. She needed to tell them that she was alright. She shook her head and was already pushing herself up, her body ached but it was nothing that she hadn’t experienced before. Nights on the road when you sleep on a hard floor, when the falls are harder in the cold and the kruge doesn’t stretch as far as it used to for medical supplies. She was used to bruises and aching muscles; the bullet wound felt more like a dull nuisance now but it had stopped bleeding and she was sure she could make back across the city.

“I’m sorry, Nina, I have to go. I need to get home and I have a job, I have to let them know I’m okay.”

Nina looked worried but she didn’t protest too much as Inej slid to the edge of the mattress and got unsteadily to her feet “Well I guess you have to come down to the front, I’m not sure how to explain your presence but I’ll work it out.”

Inej shook her head and made her way over to the windows. “No, really, it’s fine. I’m okay going out the way I came in.”

Nina looked horrified but Inej was already sliding up the window and climbing out onto the ledge. Turning to look back at the room, at Nina, she raised her hand in a small wave.

“Look after yourself and come back if you get hurt again, okay?” Nina’s voice was firm but welcoming, hopeful.

Inej’s lips pulled up into a genuine smile. “I’m sure you’ll see me again”

Trying to shake off an inexplicable feeling of regret at leaving, Inej turned and disappeared from the window’s view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be a little longer in coming I'm afraid has i have to do a fair bit of plotting/reworking things.  
> but i hope you liked this bit and feel free to come tell me things and let me know if there's anything you'd like to know/see in the next bit.


End file.
